Quotation
Last reviewed:
“The best revenge is not to become like the person who injured you.”
Marcus Aurelius · Stoicism · Ancient · c. 170–180 CE
What does it mean?
The mainstream reading is that retaliation which copies the injurer's vice is a defeat, so the real reply is to stay unlike them. A competing reading hears a ban on every firm response, whereas the note is about not catching the moral disease, not about skipping justice or boundaries. It is Meditations 6.6, one of the short rebukes to himself. Hays's version is punchier and less explicit about becoming like the person.
Did Marcus Aurelius really say this?
The library’s label is Paraphrase or translation. A modern English of Meditations 6.6, nearer George Long's 'not to become like the wrong-doer' than Gregory Hays's shorter 2002 cadence. The Greek note is his; the word 'revenge' is the translators' sharpening.
Where it comes from
Meditations 6.6
Approximate date: c. 170–180 CE.
How to use it
After a colleague takes credit in a meeting, the available 'revenge' is often to do a smaller version of the same thing next week. That is the loss he is pointing at. You can still correct the record, or ask a manager to look at the work, and the forbidden part is coming to resemble the person, and calling the resemblance strength.
A mindset reading
The habit is to check whether the reply is borrowing the vice it answers. Ask what you would be like if this worked as revenge. If the answer is 'more like them', the revenge has already failed on his terms, even before anyone else is hurt.
Understand the philosophy
Marcus is answering the impulse to answer injury in kind. The best answer, on this note, is difference of character, not a scored point. Stoic virtue is the good that retaliation often throws away. The key contrast is between harm received and harm copied, and he is writing to an emperor who could have answered injuries with power, which makes the restraint more than a private mood.
- ethics
- virtue
FAQ
What does it mean?
The mainstream reading is that retaliation which copies the injurer's vice is a defeat, so the real reply is to stay unlike them. A competing reading hears a ban on every firm response, whereas the note is about not catching the moral disease, not about skipping justice or boundaries. It is Meditations 6.6, one of the short rebukes to himself. Hays's version is punchier and less explicit about becoming like the person.
Did Marcus Aurelius really say this?
Paraphrase or translation. A modern English of Meditations 6.6, nearer George Long's 'not to become like the wrong-doer' than Gregory Hays's shorter 2002 cadence. The Greek note is his; the word 'revenge' is the translators' sharpening.
Which work is it in?
Meditations 6.6 Approximate date: c. 170–180 CE.